Stop "Selling": Build Real Donor Relationships

by Andra Ingalls, MPA

Have you ever been “served” by a pushy salesperson?

A salesperson who pushes for the biggest sale is focused on their own gain. You can feel it in the pressure and the lack of listening. The exchange feels transactional, like you’re a number instead of a person.

As faith-based nonprofit leaders tasked with fundraising, we can sometimes act like that pushy salesperson. Be advised, if it feels like we are trying to get something from a potential donor, we're doing it wrong. No one likes being treated that way. 

Instead, we shift our heart posture when we realize we're not asking for anything. We’re giving something to a potential donor: an opportunity to participate in something they care about. Giving becomes a shared expression of purpose, not a transaction, and that’s where real donor relationships begin.

A leader who treats donors like dollar signs focuses on the gift instead of the giver. You can feel it in how they communicate: rushed, generic, and centered on the organization’s need. The exchange feels transactional, not relational.

Great leaders practice relational fundraising. They care about what moves the donor’s heart and look for ways to align that passion with the work. Then, gratitude feels genuine because it grows out of shared mission, not obligation.

In the end, the donation might be the same, but the experience and the relationship are completely different. One drains trust. Yet when authentic relationship is front-of-mind, nonprofit leaders can build genuine donor engagement for the long term.

Have questions about your next step? Schedule time to talk.